My Period

Seriously.

I'm going to write about my period.

This one goes out to all you fellow fertility goddesses out there in blogland.

I just got my period for the first time in four years. Frankly, I'm amazed that I did. If it weren't for a few days last month that my husband was away for business, this post would have had a whole different title.

I know just a few short posts ago I was talking about avoiding pregnancy so that I could pursue my doula career... but my mind changes about that like a windsock in the breeze. Some days I feel complete. Two beautiful children is enough; I'm ready to hang up my ovaries and move on. Other days, I think of the wonderment and joy of pregnancy, the power of birth, and the heart-wrenching love of parenthood, and I find myself spending hours on the Baby Name Wizard. (Tobias Ray, Lola Elaine, August William, or Grace Elaine).

Actually, last month I was SURE I was pregnant. I took three pregnancy tests within five weeks. Don't tell my husband. He always says we should buy stock in EPT, because I go out and buy a test every time I get a few zits or take a random nap afternoon. Anyway, turns out there WAS something going on in my uterus: but it wasn't gestation it was menstruation.

I wish you could have seen the look on my face the morning last week when after revealing myself after a peaceful night's sleep I wiped and found BLOOD. Blood. Red blood. My first period since September 1, 2005. I almost fell off the toilet. Then I called my husband, then my sister, then a couple of friends. And of course, now I am writing about it on the internet. What can I say... I am pretty excited.

I wish I could tell you exactly what it is that has me so worked up. But, I think at the root of it is the fact that I believe that there is a tremendous power in your fertility. My hubby and I have been talking about this a lot lately because we have been thinking about what we will do once we have decided that we are done making babies. Neither of us want to get fixed. We both have this sense that your fertility is like some awesome superpower, and to surgically destroy it would be like kryptonite to your chi.

I had been charting my fertility signs for several months before the massive upheaval of our move from Illinois to Nebraska. (I obviously wasn't charting before I got my period or it wouldn't have been such a shock.) And I have to say, it is the only method of birth control that I feel comfortable with. Not because it is the only method the Pope sanctions, but because it is the only method that leaves my superpower-baby making intact. I get a tremendous sense of sadness every time I think about getting an IUD or tubal ligation and never conceiving again... but the thought of using the fertility awareness method to avoid conception for the rest of my life doesn't make me feel sad at all. It makes me feel powerful and in control.

Anyway, after a couple of cocktails I am getting off on a tangent. All I really wanted to say about my period was that after I woke up to find that I was menstruating for the first time in four years, I was totally unprepared as far as feminine hygiene products goes. My first thought was to run to Walgreens for a box of OBs but, thought twice and instead tracked down a Diva Cup. And Oh my God, I'm glad I did. If I had been smart I would have anticipated the eventual return of my period, and been prepared. I would have ordered one off the Internet from any number of sources. But, instead I was forced to jaunt down to Whole Foods and pay DOUBLE for the convince of getting one right that very instant. DOUBLE. (Again, don't tell Smoochy.)

OK, but here's the honest to God's truth. I freakin' LOVE it. I love it. You pop the thing in (which only takes a small bit of practice) and you are good to go for up to twelve hours. No leaks, no hassle... nothing. It's as though you aren't even bleeding. I can't feel it. It's easy to use, and it will save me a couple hundred bucks over the course of the next few years. There is no running out of tampons at inconvenient times. It may possibly be the best invention of our time. This little silicon wonder is the true marvel of our age.

I told a friend about it and she remained pretty skeptical. "It sounds pretty gross if you ask me." she said. OK, yea. You do have to reach your fingers inside yourself, remove the cup, empty the contents into the toilet, clean and replace... But, really it takes all of five minutes and it's not like using a pad or a tampon saves you from seeing the blood.

So in summation... because I HAVE to get to bed... do a little research into menstrual cups. They are wonderful. I got the Diva Cup because that's all they had at Whole Paycheck but there are tons of other brands out there and I've read that some women prefer the fit of one brand over another. Good luck, and happy menstruating.

Thanks Enjoy Birth!

It seems these days all I do is post links to the fabulous birth related things I find on the web. Oh well, as we are in the middle of our second cross-country move in the last year, I am not going to worry about it. (The movers come tomorrow to deliver all of our possessions to our new house! My new house, complete with doula-office!)

Anyway, I read today's bit of wonderful birth bloggin' over at Enjoy Birth. You must go read the wonderfully creative comparison between today's birth wars and an imaginary futuristic food war-scenario. This is pure inspiration!

Restaurant Wars and Birth Wars!

I wish I were as eloquent as Jennifer Block.

It is official. Jennifer Block is my new personal hero.

Birth Wars: Who's really winning the homebirth debate.

The Big Push: Pushing to Music

Jennifer Block does it again.

GO READ!

Just give it a minute to load...

What a fantastic article underscoring why EVERY WOMAN should be concerned about her rights as an autonomous being to birth the way SHE wants. The maternity system is in crisis. Learn how this discussion needs to happen within the context of healthcare reform. Midwives save money, improve outcomes, and could help fix our broken maternity system. What more does Washington need to hear?

Have You Seen This?

Job well done, South Coast Midwifery!





I found this here this morning. Thanks for sharing, Michael.

Is it any surprise that all these absolutely gorgeous mams birthed in Orange County? ;-) But, what these thoughtful beauties (and their hunky doctor husbands!) are saying is as true in Sunny California as it is in the Plain-Jane Midwest. The only difference is: this is what good midwifery care can look like in a state where it is legal. This should be an inspiration to the rest of us in the less-progressive states, to contact our state senators and start effecting some real change. All women deserve these options.

Thinking About Doulas

For as long as women have had babies, they have sought comfort and guidance from other women around them when in labor. Before there we hospitals, and epidurals, and Demerol there were doulas. But, these women didn't have a special title; they didn't charge for their services; and they were rarely strangers to the laboring mother. These women were mothers, sister, cousins, and friends of the mother giving birth. They were next-door neighbors brought over by an excited father in the middle of the night. Not to catch the baby (which has long been the job of a midwife or doctor when available), but to help mom make it through. They came to help take care of the other children; to help cook a meal; and clean up the house once mom and new baby were settled.

Women were able to be there for each other in a way that our modern society makes difficult. We seem to be so isolated from one another these days. Of course we still have friends, sisters, and mothers who wold love to be by our side during childbirth, but often these are spread across the country, accessible only by airplane rides and long distance phone calls.

Modern women haven't just been separated from one and other; we have been separated from birth. When the majority of babies were born at home, young women were more exposed to birth than they ever could be today. I am not debating the pros and cons of the shift to the hospital right now. Surly in this modern age, hospitals save the lives of mothers and babies when complications arise. I am simply stating that women were convinced, for better or worse, to put birth in the care of institutionalized medicine. Generations of women have birthed alone in hospitals surrounded only by hospital staff. It has only been most recently that we have reintroduced fellow women back in to the birthing room. Because if this separation, average women no longer share the common wisdom of how to sooth a laboring mother, what remedies to use to ease her way through birth.

I have to confess, when I was early in my pregnancy with my first child I found the idea of a hired doula completely offensive? (no, too strong), alien? (not quite right either)... LONELY. I found the concept of a hired doula made me feel lonely. It made me long for a utopia where I could gather around me my wise mother, aunts, sister, and friends whose experiences with childbirth and love for me could help guide me through my labor. Thankfully, my mother was able to fly from the East Coast to the West Coast to share in that great experience... it was just lucky timing. She is a school teacher and I delivered in June.

So, how did I get from feeling that doulas are a sad symptom of an isolated modern age to wanting to become a doula? Well for one, the world is what it is. We can only do so much. We can change our feeling of isolation by extending out to women around us; we can take back and reclaim our knowledge of birth; but we can't suddenly reverse the tides that have swept our extended families to the far corners of the globe. My sister lives in Denver, my mother lives in Naples, and I live in Omaha (soon!). This is the situation for families all over the country.

So, I want to be a doula.

I want to be a doula so that I can help make the path a laboring woman must walk seem a bit less mysterious and frightening. I want to be her tour guide through the land of labor. (I wish I could remember which wonderful doula I heard that phrase from!) I have become very passionate about empowering births...in whatever form that empowerment manifests. I think I have a lot to share with my modern sisters about how to tap into your inner strength and get what you need out of your birth experience. In a world where those around you may not have a knowledge of what birth can be like, I think doulas can fill in the gap for mothers.

Instead of feeling lonely when I think about the need for doulas today, I feel hopeful. I feel like it is a sign of women reaching out to one and other and trying to reclaim their knowledge of the normal birth process. Yes, doulas ask to be paid. And that's OK, because they wouldn't be able to do what they do otherwise. Most don't ask for much; most aren't interested in becoming rich; and almost all work on a sliding scale for those in need. Most often doulas come to their work with a sence of being a called to help other women. And that... well that is a good thing.